Rainy days

Rainy days are the hardest right now. It's not warm enough outside to actually play in the rain.  Inside contains all the toys we have been playing with for months. Not to mention that being inside gives me the chance to sit around and look at all the half finished projects and chores around my house!

I have read a number of books that suggest having a rainy day box with activities you only use on rainy days so they are fresh and new. I hope to spend some time this week putting something like that together.  The only problem is the challenge of purchasing or collecting these items while watching the kids.  And then actually saving them for rainy days and not just when Ashlyn and I are both bored of her old toys.  I found a book at the library with tons of ideas of games and activities for toddlers.  I'm hoping to jot down a list and keep those ideas handy.

Dylan and oatmeal

Dylan's first experience with cereal was great today. He smiled and worked the food really well. He even managed to keep 90% of it in his mouth.

I have to say that finding the time to start feeding Dylan solid foods with 18 month old Ashlyn is challenging. Ashlyn is so curious and wants to help, which of course isn't help at all. Perhaps tomorrow dylan can eat while ashlyn is napping.

Not at all the same

Having two kids is nothing like having one.  You think that you have learned everything after the first.  You know what sleepless nights are, you know that breastfeeding can be a challenge, you remember that your spouse still needs some individual attention.  You think you know a lot of things.

What you learn right away is that nothing you learned with the first one applies to the second one.  Children are individuals.  I say with awe that this begins at birth.  My children look practically identical but man are they different in personality. 

Ashlyn absolutely refused to latch properly to breastfeed.  I bottle fed her breast milk and then pumped for every feeding until we discovered she had a milk allergy.  Then I bottle fed her formula and pumped after every feeding in hopes of being able to limit my diet enough that she could eventually go back to breastmilk.  That venture was unsuccessful.  I finally gave in and felt immense physical relief although some emotional pain as well.  Dylan, on the other hand, immediately latched on and has breastfed like a champion.

I could give you a dozen more examples of how my children are different, but my favorite thing is one similarity...they are both mine and I adore them.

the beginning

i went through a long period where i journaled every day. i don't know that the process really helped me at the time, but i find it enlightening today to go back and read my thoughts, see how far i've come...see how i haven't changed at all.



so here i am making an attempt to record my thoughts for future use.



the reality of the situation is that my generation has no idea how hard life really is. there is no concept of sacrifice for others, or understanding of compromise for relationships. we expect others to give with out return. we expect to only receive.



we expect our peers to respond like characters from a movie or tv show...

but the truth is that marriage is hard. how can two people coexist peaceful for multiple decades? this is obviously not a simple task, so why do we expect it to be? why do we put so little thought into the permanance that is marriage? and on the flipside, how do we expect one person to fulfill our lives for however long we have? can there truly be one soulmate?

the pressure to have children is immense. who knows how to be a good parent in these times? my weekly dinner conversation included a debate on the merits of pureeing your own baby food. and planning pregnancies in order to obtain the lowest child care cost in conjunction with your peers. this is ridiculous.

so this is where my thoughts are for today...
we'll see where they go tomorrow...
love...