Monday, April 21, 2014

Tiny Habits Day 1

This week I am participating in a program designed to help you create new habits in your life one tiny step at a time!  The Tiny Habits program, developed by Stanford professor Dr. BJ Fogg, helps you begin that new habit with the smallest first step.

The program lasts only 5 days which is great for a busy, working mom like me.  Once you determine the 3 habits you would like to cultivate, you then determine what the very first step to take in that habit.  For instance, if you want to develop the habit of running everyday, the first step is to put on your running shoes. It is much easier to accomplish this simple task than to actually go out running!  Each day for 5 days, a personal coach sends you an email and all you have to do is respond - and hopefully follow through on the 3 tiny habits you have decided on.

So here are my tiny habits for the week and my intentions behind them:

1. After I get up from my desk, I will pour a glass of water. (I want to drink more water but the first step is to put it in a glass!)

2. After I put the kids to bed, I will go downstairs. (Instead of going to straight to bed, I am trying to accomplish more in the evenings.)

3. After I put on my pajamas, I will fold any clothes that I wore that day. (Instead of leaving them on the window seat to gather in a pile that I never put away.  Perhaps they won't actually get put away, but at least they will look nicer than a huge pile.)

I look forward to working on my goals this week, but only a tiny bit!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Beautiful, thriving

I am struggling.

That is my reality.  I am struggling.  I don't care for my job.  It frustrates me, depletes me, it does not fulfill me.  My house is chaos.  I don't mean the life in my house - although 3 very small children are in fact their own chaos - but I mean my actual house.  I feel that the walls are caving in on me.  The STUFF we own is too much.  There are repairs that need to be done and changes I want as well.  My marriage could use some work as well, as I'm sure all marriages and particularly those with small children do.  Our nanny quit yesterday too.  There are moments when it is devastating and moments when it is okay.  It is a lot to process.  I am thankful that we have time to process.

Perhaps many people would read that paragraph and say "Welcome to Adulthood" or "Well, that's life" and I don't blame them.  I read it and agree for that matter.  But I am wandering through anxiety and depression and so these things seem overwhelming.

So what's the point of writing all of this down and putting it out there?  I believe that I am on a journey, a really important one.  The journey where I find the woman I am supposed to be - the thriving woman with a beautiful life.  Not the perfect one, not the pristine one, but the beautiful, thriving life.

I think that is why I started quilting.  Quilting is a place to be creative.  It is a place to take something whole, cut it up into tiny pieces and put it back together into something still whole, but more complex and beautiful.  In many ways that is what I am trying to accomplish.  And just like quilting, this is a complicated process, and it may require a seam ripper.  But I will know in the end that whatever the result is, it is beautiful in its own right.